Rage

You wanna know what sometimes makes me fly into a rage?
Why do I get so “angry”?
Why do I push you away,
And treat you like a threat?
Friend, foe or frenemy?
Maybe it’s because I couldn’t even be left alone
To sleep.
Maybe it’s because I was violated,
In every single way imaginable,
When I was most vulnerable,
While you just sat there,
Silently judging my ‘shrewish,’ angry ways.
Just because I married the guy,
Doesn’t meant I ‘deserved it,’ or asked for it.

Am I a bitch?
You’re goddamn right, I am.
But I’m so many other things you’ll never know,
If you never bothered to look below your own nose…
If you viewed me from within the narrow framework
Of your own perception,
You most certainly didn’t deserve
To know the real me,
The authentic me,
That still cries in the night,
And hides it behind the urge to fight.
You don’t get to define me,
Only I am allowed to do that.
You wanna piece of me?
No way, buddy!
You’re either all in,
Or all out,
There is no more in-between,
No more half-measures.
I won’t be anybody’s punching bag,
And know this-
Before you can be my companion,
Understand that I ultimately belong to me,
First, foremost and evermore.
I won’t let ANY man, woman or other member of the human species
Possess, consume, or alter me,
Ever again.

Maybe one day I’ll be free
From this latent hostility,
But I will never forget
What’s been done to me,
And the oath I made,
To myself
Will never be broken.

Words and image, MAYA Garcia, 2016.

#nomeansno #notaskingforit #domesticviolence #spousalabuse #sexualassaultawarenessimage.jpeg

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