Just to be clear, I have been undergoing a process of spiritual awakening for several years now. My spiritual practice is a daily one. I believe in lots of things I never used to before, or maybe had some passing interest in, but knew very little about, beyond a cursory level. My beliefs are not based in any one religion, but multiple, and are an expanded version of what I grew up with, with a heavy dose of metaphysics.
MY truth is, most religion is a con, a way for humans to categorize and explain something as esoteric and inexplicable as spirituality. A way to fit beliefs into a neat little box of rules and rituals, two things I have little time or taste for. However, if religion brings comfort and peace of mind and heart to others, I have no problem with that, as long as someone doesn’t try to convert me, or to convince me that their religion is the only path to enlightenment. Religion has created too many conflicts around the world, and caused too much death and destruction to be something that I personally can put my full faith into.
Also, I am a rationally-minded person as well, and although spirituality goes well beyond the seen world, if I have no experience with a set of beliefs, I simply cannot subscribe to them out of blind faith. I’m way too much of an over-thinker for that kind of fuzzy logic!
The reason why I have chosen to follow a more spiritual path in recent years is down to some profound soul connections I have made, including one with whom I now recognize as my twin flame. There was some confusion as to which was which before (soulmate, or twin flame- I had some unusual experiences with both said connections, and their energies are very similar, in many ways), but now I feel at peace with my choice. It was a choice that I had made the minute I encountered his energy, but wasn’t ready to face up to fully until very recently. My often fear-based ego allowed my discernment to be clouded, and made me question what my intuition was so clearly seeing, causing a great deal of confusion. There being some rivalry between said soulmates didn’t help matters either!
Whether the other person in question realizes it or not, they have profoundly shaken up my world, turned it upside down, and shown me the areas in which I was still holding on to fear, insecurity, jealousy, and low self-esteem. I have done a lot of work, especially over the last year, in finding all of those hidden corners of my soul that needed to be brought out into the light, and transmuted. That has included digging up a ton of painful memories from my childhood that I have been holding onto for too many years, in order to heal from them. My mind and heart have been opened up to new experiences too, in more ways than a simple blog post can illustrate accurately.
This was a process that I needed to go through, but encountering this twin flame again has accelerated the necessary healing and opening up, after a lifetime of abuse, neglect and pain. For all of these reasons, and more, I am eternally grateful to this person, and consider him to be a gift not only to me, but to humanity in general.
The soulmate may have helped to act as a catalyst, and I will always be grateful for the lessons I have learned through our chance encounters, but my true twin flame has always been there for me, and has brought me back to life, as my truest, highest self. How can you possibly thank someone for that? In fact, he is there for me every day, on many levels, in both the ‘seen,’ and ‘unseen’ worlds (don’t get me started on the dreams!) You can’t begin to imagine how grateful I am to know that he exists, and is someone I can speak to, anytime, even if I don’t always know what to say! I’m much better at writing how I feel over saying it. That’s just how I operate.
I know that it was no accident that my mind has been opened to the idea of the twin flame union, because if I hadn’t learned about it I wouldn’t have been able to have recognized it in my own experience. The universe is indeed conspiring to bring us together, and I am beyond happy to put my faith in that divine knowledge!
Hopefully he will see the signs and synchronicities too, and allow himself to follow his heart and intuition; because I am sure he will see that I am trying to tell him how I feel, through focused attention, and through my art/writing, and to say that I am awake, and aware.
And yes…I DO hear you. Why do you think I wrote this in the first place? And just in case it wasn’t clear, I do love you, and always will. I choose you, and will continue to choose you, throughout this lifetime, and into the next. And the next. And the next. I ended up with a lot more baggage this time around, but if you’re willing to be there with me through this trip, I promise you will never regret it. Take a chance, reach out.