NOTICING

The awkward spaces in between
Dreams,
And conversations.

………………………….

The long pauses,
The protracted silences,
Apparent alienation,
Is painful.
Not knowing the whole situation,
Regardless of precognition
And intuition,
My gifts can only go so far,
Feeling misunderstood
And unwelcome,
It is hard.

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Staying in the shadows
Just to remain loyal,
And for what?

I have no reason to feel shameful.
I wish I knew why
I was still doing this,
But I can’t hide
The truth from myself,
Though I’ve tried my best.

I cannot control him,
(Nor would I want to)
All I can do is allow myself
To see,
And feel,
And be
Relentlessly true
To who I am,
The great I AM.
When I defy ego
And “logic”
The answers are right there,
Screaming,
Loud and clear.
There is “Sam.”

Falling back on divine guidance,
Prayers and meditation
Incense and intense revelations
All see me through.
Confiding in trusted soul friends.
I live in hope that this is just the beginning,
Not an end…
Anyway,
Does such a thing as an end exist
Where true soul connections persist?
I think not.

So what’s next?
What is my fate?
Do I live out my days
As a lady-in-wait?

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